Dogblog

Dogblog, Go there, worship it. Pure class, I wish I'd thought of it.

I like this guy because he reminds me of my old dog Brandy.

Looking for a suitable picture for this entry reminded me of the fact that when I see pictures or films of dogs pre 1980, it makes me sad because I know they're dead now. I think it's awfully cruel that man's best friend only has a lifespan of 1/10th of man. Perhaps that's why they're our best friends, if dogs aged at the same rate as humans I reckon they'd get sick of us and divorce us like a spoilt Hollywood brat. Dogs are great.

All change

I've decided my blog needs a new name, I came up with 'I'm A Cuckoo' in a hurry as I wanted to go to bed but I don't think it's entirely appropriate as I don't think that I represent either the sentiments of that song or the actual bird - I've only laid my eggs in someone else's nest once before and it's not something I'm proud of.

Anyway I had decided to go for 'Knives Out' as it sums up a lot of my blog content, I'm aware that I tend to come across as a bit of a bitch sometimes and it keeps with the musical song title theme, I do love the Radiohead (sorry B & S). It's quite punchy too which I like but Tom came home and he didn't as he seems to think I'm actually a nice person and Knives Out sounds a bit nasty. With hindsight, I agree. Back to the drawing board.

As you can tell I have settled on 'I might be wrong', for those savants it is another Radiohead title but I like it as it sums up blogging as a whole and is quite nice and modest.

Reactions to the change are welcome from all.

One wedding & a birth

Good things and bad things to report this week: We went off to a wedding in Cheshire, in a swanky country house as shown, at the weekend which was really lovely. One of my best friends, Simon Pini, got married to a young lady named Vanessa. Unfortunately I don't know much about her, depite the fact that they've been together for seven years, on and off.

Pini is one of those people who has two very different sets of friends and keeps them separate. Vanessa comes under the category of uni mates from when he was at De Montford, therfore we hardly see her, us being members of the Norfolk massive who were representing in full at the wedding on Saturday. We seemed in the minority compared to the Leicster uni lot who seemed brash and mainstream (but then there goes my judgemental snobbery runing the party again). Us Norfolk kids, despite having the best man among our midst, were rather less central to affairs, as being from Norfolk we do not seek the limelight, unlike others (you know who you are Northeners) from the rest of the country tend to.

It was a rather good time and I smoked and drank more substances than one's body should be allowed in one evening including reefers in the hotel bedroom, Spen's white Russians which seemed to feauture less Kaluha and more Vodka as the night wore on and three bottles of stolen sparkling wine ingested mainly by me, Lydia (Jon & Spen's housemate who I found I really liked - bit of a novelty for me her being a girl and all but she really is great) and Anna (Pini's ex who we know from school, she was wearing a black ball gown style skirt which made her look like a black widow ready to ruin the party with revalations about Pini at any point - she didn't) in the taxi..

I had a massive hangover on Sunday as expected but also to truly make me feel a million times worse I had minor food poisoning from attempting to resurrect the buffet at midnight after it had been sitting there for four hours! Bad judgement prevails when drunk and hungry - see Dan for reference! Needless to say an uncomfortable 5 hours were spent on the train back to Exeter.

Anyway the whole thing was lovely, Vanessa looked like the blond goddess she always is (bitch!), Simon, although faintly reminding me of a shaved ape in a suit, was incredibly happy, Jon's best man speech went down a storm being complely unintentionally deadpan, he started with 'Hello, for those who don't know me my name is Jon...' read entirely from a piece of paper. He was so nervous he downed lots of champagne during the photographs and was quite fearful about falling over. Tom looked very handsome in his new suit, which I shall be insisting he wears all the time from now on and I got on much better with Spen's girlfriend Jen, to my relief.

Other good.things are that Dan, Kate, Chris and Sarah are coming to visit with Cadfael next weekend(huzzah!). My sister is coming the weekend after and our apple tree has started to bear edible fruits I can now use for cooking, I anticipate being quite appled out over the next month or so.

Bad news, not as much as you might have been expecting but still a bugger for me. I have got an irritable bowel thingy which means that at intermittent points after eating random foods I double up in pain and cannot leave the loo to venture to work for love nor money (mainly money as temping I don't get sick pay so I loose 40 quid a day if I don't go in).

Ooh in other good things I have a new nephew, born to my brother Andrew and his girlfriend Maria on 18th August, Finlay Goldsmith (it just don't sound right!) entered the world, weighing in at 8lb 3oz which is good I think. He shares my initials so he gets my vote (for what I don't know).

Sorry no proper pics but I didn't even bring my regular camera let alone a fancy digital one to the wedding, but you all know what they look like so not to worry. However, in case you cannot imagine a shaved ape in a suit, here is a picture of one (a cheap laugh I know - but who could resist!)...

Norfolk Gay, Out

Alas, my Norfolk treat has left the building. He is officially the least popular of a Geordie Topman Window Model, a woman who has molested a bottle of wine, a deeply ugly geek who test drives Nissans in Crawley and a weird extra from a blaxploitation movie.

Look at that stupid face, see the arrogance that comes from living in such a closed community as Cromer, he thinks he's a legend we think he's a prick. But what a nice change to see someone from Norfolk on our screens daily with that wonderful accent, he makes every statement seem like a question? He has made me laugh every night and has curbed my homesickness by making me remember the idiots I have left behind.

Thank you Craig you are in a strange way a legend, in this household anyway.

Slag

It's funny what you end up with when you do an image search sometimes. This gem turned up under 'slag' when I was trying to illustrate a ropey slapper on my previous posting.

Perhaps they are hunting a slag in the sea off Falaraki. I hear that they pose health risks to the local population at this time of year.

A market, a picnic and some Beer

As much as one enjoyed the spectacle of a bonnetted ferret whenever I opened my blog, I feel as though I should be adding posts today as I am currently sitting in my nightie watching the athletics whilst bunking off work. I don't get paid today but I just don't care that much, I really appreciated the extra snuggle in bed.

I have been rather busy since my last posting: Tom came back from his stag weekend which sadly was less debauched than he had license to be involved in. I had sent him away with permission for a hand job from a ropey slapper but he didn't even get to grope any ropey slappers; none of them did. There were no stag pranks or high jinks and Pini the groom got away scott-free.

Last Monday we both had the day off & we ended up watching a very silly TV movie starring ex-bond Timothy Dalton as the dictator of a totalitarian, eastern block state who accidentaly hired a New York beauty teacher rather than an actual teacher for his children, as you can imagine hilarity ensued and they fell in love. Anyway we then went out to Topsham 'Exeter's ancient port' and found a great pub called The Bridge which was really old fashioned and didn't even have a bar. It had really good beer which you ordered from a list and dark, smokey rooms with furniture which has lived through two world wars and shows it. It was such a good pub that we will be dragging all our vistors (if we ever get any) there.


On Friday we went for a picnic after work at Dawlish Warren which was wonderful, the weather was perfect and we had lots of tasty treats from the farmer's market. We missed our connecting bus home and rather enjoyably waited out the evening until the next bus in Cafe Rouge drinking my favourite Leffe brune.

On Saturday it was the Silverton Street Market which was rather naff as it seemed that everyone had set up stalls just to get rid of their crap from the garage. Tom bought a couple of radiohead promos and I bought some plants, but I was upset not to have been able to buy some old ladies cakes (which is not slang in case you were wondering), which as you should know are the best sort of cakes, unless the old dear has gone a bit senile and then you get weird cakes.

Sunday was the best day as we went out to Beer which is an achingly pretty fishing village in East Devon. We went on a double decker bus through some of the most beautiful scenery in the country and then got stuck going into the village down a tiny lane as another double decker was coming the other way. We had crab sandwiches and a pint of beer brewed in Silverton in the Barrell of Beer pub and then went for a walk along the cliffs to the next village which afforded one of the best views I have ever seen in England. We then strangely bumped into Chris the thatcher from our village (which is a good 25 miles away) on the walk back to Beer. Afternoon tea in a twee tearoom (my favourite) and then the bus back to Exeter where we were shocked to find another decent pub (that makes two now!) before getting the bus home. All in all a rather good weekend.

Everything that's wrong with America

This is an extract from a US Website which seems to be really popular. Sadly I stumbled across this when googling 'Dog of the Day' - yes I know how this somehow makes me complict in this madness, but I still felt bile rising when reading this...

Hi! I'm Teencie Weensie, AKA Tee-Weener. I have a little sister over the Rainbow Bridge and a little brother who I�constantly play with. I love carefully stashing all my toys under mommies bed and listening to everyone tell me how pretty I am; Most people say I'm the darkest fuzzy they've ever seen, I love being unique!

I enjoy going for long walks on my harness, and exploring new places with funny smells. I'm one of the pickiest ferrets there are though, I've rejected every treat my mommy ever bought me and refuse to try anything new. The only stuff I eat besides my kibble is my Ducksoup and Vaseline! Yummmmm...

Anyone who doesn't shudder after reading this is abnormal. There is also a chatroom where other pet lovers and pets (or their moms writing for them) can comment on the pet of the day and wish them luck on their special day. This is what happens when you give the internet to people who aren't allowed out in the real world.