scary stuff

I hope that those of you with TVs have been watching the excellent new 'Life in the Undergrowth' series on BBC1, the BBC wildlife documentaries really cannot be matched. I mean have you ever tried watching one on ITV or Sky, they're appalling in comparison, all shock and awe and bad voiceovers.
I have just been reading about ants that kill humans by swarming over and entering their bodies in thousands and eating away at the insides until all that remains is polished bone (if left undiscovered fora couple of weeks). That's something else for me to worry about, along with being boiled in oil or being hung, drawn and quartered, to be filed in the section of my brain labelled "most horrific ways of dying".

I have just realised that this post will come straight after that about my nan and Miro dying, hardly appropriate I know, but I guess we all think about death a lot, whether in its natural ugly form or in these weird and scary ways of dying, I suppose its healthier that way than bottling it up and never mentioning it. Sorry, I've sombered the mood again. Crumbs, think about nice stuff, puppies, flowers and Christmas port.

In remembrance

If I may be allowed to descend into the realm of the serious on this blog, if only for one entry, I'd like to tell you about two members of my family who have passed away in the last month, it is nice to know that their existence is recorded somewhere even if it is the trivial world of the internet.

Ellen (Nelly) Stewart (nee Howard) 1909 - 2005

My grandmother, not through birth, through my stepmother Beryl, but it didn't matter to her that I wasn't a true member of the family. She died in hospital last night with her family around her. She was a truly remarkable woman, a local legend, everybody in Lynn knew who she was and will be saddened at the news. The funeral, which I cannot attend due to my geographical distance and poverty, will be a massive affair.

She had 10 children, three of whom she outlived, 26 grandchildren and countless great-grandchildren. Her husband died a long time ago and she has been on her own for at least 30 years. She was always happy and kind, had a great deal of intelligence and was incredibly sharp, always made people laugh and never gave in to her ever-declining physical abilities. My fondest memories are when she used to look after me in the school holidays and would always buy me an iced bun which used to be my favourite.

She must have been very brave bringing up so many children during the second world war whilst her husband was away in North Africa, Kings Lynn was badly bombed during the war because of the munitions factories nearby, I cannot imagine what that must have been like. Like so many of the older generation, she was made from different stuff than we are now, which made her into such a wonderful, strong matriarch. I didn't see her very often but feel that the world is poorer for her loss.

Miro 1991 - 2005

A dog yes, and of course not in the same category of loss as a grandmother but he was a very special dog. He was found as a puppy, alone and cowering in the middle of a busy road in Notingham by a friend of my sister Linda. For her it was love at first sight ( and for me to) and she decided that even though she wasn't allowed to keep a pet, she would take him home. They soon became inseparable but he fell ill. His fur all fell out and underneath he had dreadful mange. At one point he was so ill that she had made the fateful decision to take him to the vets to be put to sleep, luckily an aussie locum doctor was working that day and he suggested trying a new cure before giving up the fight. It worked and he was soon better and looking more handsome than ever, with a thick, sandy coloured coat, fluffy erect fox-like ears and big, brown eyes.

He stayed with Linda until she went travelling for a year when he moved in with us temporarily. I had always loved Miro but we grew closer than ever. I will forever have a memory of him for I have a scar on my chin which was inflicted by him, on Valentine's night 1995 my parents went out leaving me with the dog and a chocolate orange for company. Being the generous soul that I am, I shared the chocolate with Miro and he went a bit nutty and bit me when I leaned down to kiss him goodnight. Even after a trip to A&E and being a laughing stock at school, I forgave him.

The story of his passing makes me cry every time I think about it. He became ill with hip dysplacia a few years ago and has been growing weaker ever since, he was nearly completely deaf and his once razer-sharp teeth were blunt stumps but he was still handsome and affectionate. Last month he got worse and had a stroke which left him very weak. On 23rd October he was almost gone but the next morning he seemed like a new dog, greeting and licking the family. Feeling optomistic they went off to work and school but when they came home they couldn't open the door. Poor old Miro was laid against it, barely alive, he had waited for them to get home to say goodbye. They took him inside and my sister took him in her arms in a blanket where he fell asleep.

He was a beautiful dog and he deserves remembering.

Radio friendly unfit scheister

I'm a tad worried that I'm becoming a 6 Music junkie. I have even appeared on the radio this week in an attempt to win a wheelbarrow load of prizes on the 6 Music Bank competition , I didn't win by the way. I have also been exchanging e-mails with Andrew Collins (see blog link) who has offered to read and review my blog but as far as I know has not yet visited.

Tom nearly appeared on the radio today but although they rang him to ask if he would go on air, they put his name in a hat and drew out someone else. I probably spend about 75% of my non-uni day listening to 6 Music and have won several exciting prizes from them, including a portable DAB, already. If you're a regular listener you'll often hear a mention of 'Faye in Devon' putting in requests and answering competitions. Its not as if I think that the radio presenters are my friends or anything, if that starts I promise I will give it up.

Its been a bad week in some respects as I missed out on seeing Martha Wainwright through a stomach bug which I was rather pissed off about, as you can imagine. That's 25 quid I'll never get back and a Canadian lady who I probably wont be able to see again. Really need a night out as well as I was looking forward to one courtesy of Martha. Ended up in local pub again last night and then having take-outs, smoke and Spaced at home. Made the mistake of mixing weird almond vodka (brought back from Boston, MA by Mrs Tom's mum), milk and Maltersers - not a good idea - but didn't throw up!

Got the essays in OK but I'm worried that I'm shit at uni. I thought that by going as a sensible mature student I'd be able to knuckle down and try and get a first, but this idea is slowly disappearing, it seems that you have to be quite clever as well - bugger!

Never Study Politics and Religion

For those of you who have romanticised memories of being a student of happy times in pubs with your friends, sleeping in till noon and just generally mucking about and having a whale of a time I say: you lie to yourselves, it's bloody hard work.

After handing in two essays yesterday about 200 years of Islamic history and a British Government essay which involved reading through the transcript of a 5 hour parliamentary debate I am currently 1000 words into a 2000 word essay in which I must define democracy, for the rest of the weekend I shall be arguing the finer points of the events leading to the Cold War both of which must be in by Tuesday by which time I should also have read lots of chapters on ideologies, the civil service and realist theory post WW2. My brain hurts. I want to get out of the house, I want a pint..

I have got a job as a cleaning lady! Yes it's true, every Thursday morning I go to a big new house and clean it. It is really shit but I get a free workout and 7 pounds an hour. The people are quite nice but seem to enjoy hunting and are members of the Countryside Alliance. I should hate them but I've grown up too much and am too tired to hold such naive ideological views anymore.

In bird news, I saw the following types of bird in our garden today within half an hour : Greenfinch, House Sparrow, Bluetit, Great Tit, Coal Tit, Goldfinch (a first appearance), Blackbird, Starling, Wood Pidgeon & Collared Dove. Perhaps I now know why I have so little time left for my essays.

Banish all thoughts of running water

I have just got back from my hospital untrasound scan to get to the bottom of my stomach pains and am glad to report that I have everything in its right place (well you do wonder these things don't you?) and there are no sinister goings on. It seems I just have plain old irritible bowel syndrome.

For some bizarre medical reason I had to drink two pints of water an hour before my appointment without visiting the loo. By my appointment time of 9.30 I was hopping around, and by the time I actually went in at 9.40 I was in sheer agony but oh the relief afterwards!

In less personal news I have just taken delivery of two bouncing baby Belle & Sebastian tickets for Bristol on 1st February and am very pleased indeed. I am going to see Martha Wainwright next week which will break my gig duck as I haven't been to one since the Finn Brothers last November. I'm getting back on that horse and boy am
I going to ride it. Sorry, far too many metaphors for one posting.
My parents came to visit last weekend and as ever we all had a lovely time. On Saturday, amid lashing rain and gales, we visited Exmoor, stopping off at a hunting lodge, Tarr steps (see above) and a pretty market town on the way. On Sunday we drove over Dartmoor in much finer weather, enjoyed a pint in a old pub with a lovely smokey wood fire (the pub, according to legend was once visited by the devil who paid for his ale with gold coins which withered to dead leaves after he left) and were molested by Dartmoor ponies who tried to get in our car after we stopped to take a photo. Really missed my parents when they left as the reality of living so far away from all our family and friends has dawned on me. Mind you I could be living in worse places.

Dogs, slugs, crabs and all manner of creatures.

You may be mistaken in thinking that I have been away for the last two weeks as I have not blogged for a while, however the truth is I just couldn't be bothered anymore. Everytime I opened up my blog there were no comments and I started feeling a wee bit sorry for myself (well boo hoo for crabs as my scouse-norfolk friend spencer might say). Also my uni work has really taken off and I am feeling a little overwhelmed, I have four essays on the go and four presentations to plan for.

We've been busy in other ways too as Tom's mum came to visit last weekend, unfortunately we are now in the monsoon season down here and we were greeted with proper Dartmoor weather (in other words we got soaked as we ran the 100 yards from the car to the 2nd highest pub in England). Devon is damp, this is something I didn't know before I moved here. Our soafs feel damp, slugs have taken up a permanent residence in the crevice between the living room and kitchen and we went out to clean the bird feeder yesterday and found that the seeds had sprouted into tiny plants inside the feeder.

Have been enjoying lots of new things despite our poverty, the last Modest Mouse album which is very fine indeed, Tom got Winged Migration for his birthday, which is literally a documentary following birds on their migration paths, it is very relaxing and visually stunning, the Magic Numbers which is nice but not substantial enough for me, Neil Young's After the Goldrush which is an absolute classic which we have been looking for at the right price for ages, Gorillaz new album which we both love, they've done so much with the music and vocals and it sounds brilliant, and today Repulsion Box by Sons and Daughters which follows on in much the same excellent form as their first one. Watched The Life Aquatic again on DVD, this time with Tom who really loved it, it was difficult for me to convey how good this film was before, now he knows.

I've also been consuming lots of politics through the papers and news which is permiating my subconsious to the extent that I am now dreaming about New Labour policies, perhaps I deserve a break. Did enjoy Blunkett II, what a fool, I hope this weakens Tony Blair even more, I don't want him in power during any further developments with Iran, At least Gordon Brown is too tightpursed to waste any more money on a war. Tony doesn't care, he has his eyes firmly on the history books, look at his record so far, Sierra Leone, Kosovo, Afghanistan, Iraq (and now Iran?), even Maggie Thatcher only attacked Argentina and she was a monster! I leave you with the best thing about the whole Blunkett affair; seeing a dog in the House of Commons, what a treat!